shaunterrywriter

These are my writings. I hope that they're honest and I hope that people get some good from them.

Month: June, 2016

21 June 2016 — On the Way to Iceland

Very early morning

This morning, I saw the most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever seen.

Pale clouds of magenta and coral and the blue of irises all bled into one another, creating a chromatic gradient; indifferent puffs of sweet, light, bright cotton above an otherworldly landscape.

The mountains were like dark chocolate chunks, with coconut fragments sprinkled conservatively across their tops. Between some mountains ran a frozen, hardened river of foggy blue gemstone, slowly, gently breaking down the mountains, as tiny glacial chunks floated on the periphery to one side of the mountains and an ocean of snow began to consume the chocolate peaks on the other side.

Eventually, the snow would stretch to either horizon, the consistency and color of freshly whipped cream. The mountains occasionally poked their heads above the surface like sharpened flint: earthen arrowheads penetrating the cream.

In the end, the little chocolate stones fall apart in the icy aquamarine ocean.


Slightly less early morning

My eyes did a funny thing. After reading my book for a few minutes, I looked up, out of the window. When I saw the image outside, it appeared wavy, and I figured that maybe the glass was cheap or somehow weathered, causing distortions. But then, for no reason that I could explain, I suddenly realized that it wasn’t the glass causing the illusion and I focused on the waves themselves. I could pick out the faded shapes of indecipherable words I’d been reading, thanks to the early morning light coming in through the glass.

We’re All Sansan

Agario Sad Puppy Dies

I, a 30-something man, was playing a children’s game, pretending to be a woman. I found myself yelling at my computer, “EAT YOURSELF, THUG!”

Then, a girl (I assumed) named Sansanpapy or Sansandady — I couldn’t tell from the font — said that she was sad. She didn’t want to talk about it at first, so I offered her my work email, mostly just because I wanted her to be able to talk and I didn’t want to reveal to the other gamers that I wasn’t really a woman. She said that animals should live longer lives. She said that she’d been depressed for a while, that it was still causing her to cry a lot, even though it’d happened back in September. I told her that I wished that Earth would just keep getting bigger to accommodate all the new animals and she agreed.

I told her it’s good to be sensitive. She asked if there’s such a thing as being too sensitive and I told her that there’s not. Fuck no! If you find yourself in the midst of a thriving career and you feel like crying in front of your millionaire boss’s face, you should be able to cry in front of your millionaire boss’s face!

She explained that she had woken up one morning to her father and sister crying in the kitchen and to her dog, Millie, lying motionless on the living room floor. She said that her dad had explained to her that Millie wasn’t going to get better, and how she’d skipped breakfast, instead going up to her room to get her guinea pig. The guinea pig had purred that Monday morning. She doesn’t like Mondays anymore, she says.

So I told her about how when I was a kid, my dog once had puppies, and one time, one of the puppies started to run from the garage as my sister had pressed the button to cause the big wooden garage door to slowly descend from the ceiling. I’d yelled the whole way as I’d run. I was screaming and everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Why can’t she tell what I’m saying? WHY ISN’T SHE PRESSING THE DAMN BUTTON AGAIN?! I couldn’t get there fast enough. The tiny puppy had bounded from the middle of the garage to just under where the garage door was to have met the ground.

I’d run as fast as I could and the best I could manage was to wedge my foot between the door and the ground. It wasn’t enough. I screamed as tears slid down my salmon cheeks. My sister had only just figured out what I’d been saying as the door had collided with the pup. My dad was running toward me. He was big and powerful and he was very athletic. It wasn’t enough that day. The garage door lifted again to reveal the yelping, badly injured puppy. Dad pretended that he was taking the puppy somewhere important to be mended. It’s probably the sweetest lie my dad ever told.

So I explained to Sansan that I’d lost a puppy once and that it had made me cry. I explained to her that it’d been the worst day of my whole life and that it’s sad when animals die and that it’s okay to cry over it. I explained to her that it’s okay to be sensitive. We just learn how to deal with our feelings.

ThugLife chimed in, explaining that he’d lost his 7-year old great dane, Phoebe, to doggy cancer. ThugLife had told me earlier that he had no friends, so the loss of his dog must’ve been hard on him, I’d guess. He and Sansan were both eleven. Holy shit. Eleven.

ThugLife was pretty good at the stupid kids’ game, but Sansan thought that we shouldn’t team up because it was unfair to people who didn’t team up. I agreed with her and told her that I felt a little bad that we’d been unfair to others. “I usually don’t team.” Apparently, I was defending myself to an eleven-year old. I told Rooster that I was going to kill him in the game but that I thought he was a nice person. He laughed and later declared that dogs are like humans because they die.

Maybe it’s a little weird for a 30-something man to be pretending to be a 24-year old woman while playing a kids’ game on the computer. But I was glad that I got to tell a little girl that her feelings are okay, even if I later felt a little stupid for having offered her my email. She’d explained that her parents wouldn’t let her email me, anyway, but she offered that we should talk the next night when she played on the same server. So then I felt a little stupid for wanting to do so and then I felt a little stupid for feeling stupid for wanting to do so.

Leftover Prey

Human Meat Stew

Boiled flesh lies,
nearly fermented,
in a bowl of broth.

Her spoon fills with gelatin, cartilage, and filaments of musculature,
as she giggles at a strip of Calvin and Hobbes
in her daily paper.

She sucks up the corpse, the memories, the emotions,
the tao that cannot be named.

Slurp

Gekko’s Revenge: How Education Serves Meritocracy

  1. Is education simply screening for ability?

 

Certainly not. First, things are rarely simple, and to ask whether education is simply screening for ability could be read as to imply one-to-one correlation. The data don’t show this to be true. But let’s assume no such implication. Were the question to ask whether education only screens for ability, it would lead to a similar problem: education may do some screening for ability, but there are lots of other factors that education could account for. We can’t be completely certain (because we can’t be completely certain of anything, can we?), but there’s plenty of evidence to demonstrate that education attainment measures a number of factors; some biological, some environmental. This brings us to the word “ability.” Ability is an idea that implies a great deal about the value of people in such a competitive, exploitative, capitalistic, and moralistic culture, such as America’s. “Ability” may simply refer to a person’s skillset, but often “ability” is used to say something about a person’s inborn capabilities and potential. Such ideas go a long way toward justifying problematic meritocracies. Herein lies much of the problem with America’s education system and the treatment of education by American society and her institutions.

In America, the myth goes that a person who is born exceptionally smart and hardworking is sure to attain a high level of education and earn a good deal of money. At some point, this becomes tautological in our culture because we tend to view wealth as an indication of an individual’s value while we assume that the most valuable Americans will attain a lot of wealth and/or high status. It’s common in America for someone to assume by displays of conspicuous consumption that someone must be smart, industrious, hardworking, powerful, and ethical. At the very least, the common wisdom is that a person with money is someone who deserves respect and to disrespect someone with money is a foolish act that can lead to painful consequences for the transgressor.

In Chris Hayes’s Twilight of the Elites, it’s pointed out that power manifests through people’s wealth, platforms, and/or networks. In the case of each of these, higher education can play an important role in developing these vehicles for power, so in a sense, it can be said that educational attainment is a vehicle for obtaining power. As such, it’s imperative for able, loving parents to exhaust the efforts at their disposal to ensure the educational successes of their children, but even parents who don’t display this parental diligence can ensure that their children will get good educations by simply being the sort of people who have children who get into good schools: rich, white, highly educated, etc.

Michael Marmot’s The Status Syndrome describes how constituent aspects of status affect health and mortality outcomes, but more important to the subject at hand, his book also explains how factors work in conjunction with one another to confound issues that lead to inequalities. Wealthy parents tend to live around other wealthy people, whose children go to schools with other wealthy children, whose parents tend to emphasize the importance of education in their child-rearing, and whose communities tend to create environments in which children can thrive academically, as well as provide a robust, well-connected social network. To give an example, children in wealthy families tend to get better preventive care than children born into lower socio-economic conditions, which can help them to spend more time in school as opposed to having to stay home due to illness. Marmot’s thesis depends a good deal on Amartya Sen’s ideas on the Capabilities Approach.

In Sen’s Development as Freedom, he describes how people’s needs can vary greatly based on the circumstances in which they find themselves. Surely this is true when it comes to education. A child growing up in a crime-riddled area, being reared by a single mother who works two jobs doesn’t need less educational resources and more distractions than a child born to two involved, wealthy parents does; she needs more than the rich child. But this is only reflective of the inequities we see throughout American culture.

Unfettered capitalism is unsustainable and the education system is one of many institutions which are both subject to and contributory to the problems that deregulation, regressive taxation, weak social safety nets, weak unions, and disregard for social justice thrust upon society. Dirk Philipsen’s recent The Little Big Number demonstrates just why and how endless growth is unsustainable and, indeed, neurotic. Ideas like endless growth, deregulation, and work as a moral virtue all serve to benefit the wealthy at the expense of the lower classes. Karl Widerquist’s Independence, Propertylessness, and Basic Income proposes that the modern state of America’s economy is one by which the underclasses are made to serve the wealthy through forced labor, and while this may seem extreme, there seems to be truth in it. Until some point in human history, people were tasked with merely finding the necessary natural resources to build shelter and procure food — nothing more, nothing less — there was no impediment of ownership to prevent them from the necessary procurements. Today, in order for a person to survive and to live a life worth living, she must go and work for a powerful person and be subject to their rules, forced to play a game that benefits the ruling class and under the rules created by the ruling class.

So does education simply screen for ability? It doesn’t. Education is the institution that indoctrinates children with the mythology of meritocracy such that people act against the interests of themselves and of their communities, all so that we can hope to burn what resources we have until there’s nothing left for the sake of ensuring the safety and comfort of old, rich, delusional, white men, who studies have shown have very little empathy. Big surprise.

Educational attainment demonstrates how tall you are, what kind of neighborhood you grew up in, whether your mother was nice to you or not, what color your skin is, and a lot of other arbitrary factors that are inherited through lottery of birth to ensure one’s place in the social order. The education system is a part of a giant machine made to allow the wealthy to feed on the blood and sweat of the anonymous masses of innocent proletarians. The American education system is part and parcel of all the seemingly intractable problems that the world faces.